Joinch and Squanch

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Joinchening is the sacred act of unity, where all things come together (referenced in the famous song by The Beatles). It's similar to the "Big Crunch" theory of the end of the universe, having been discovered roughly 17 microseconds after the beginning.


It has a fundamental opponent known as Squanch which is kind of like the big bang but with less redshift. While Squanch is not actively malevolent, he can lead to dangerous situations if not kept in check.

Real-life applications

Scientific diagram of Joinch

Studies on Joinch and Squanch has led to many successful matches in Ibex Legends, where countless scrubs have been rekt. According to ancient cave paintings, Joinch represents safety, whereas Squanch represents bamboozlement.

However, the paradigm has shown very little promise in competitive Apex Legumes; research in this area is still ongoing.